Tea And Biscuits Book Discussions: How much loving do you need?

Posted November 30, 2015 by Loverofromance in Tea and Biscuits Discussions / 9 Comments

This week I would like to talk about sex in romance….now I believe that this can be a sensitive topic, but I also think it’s a debatable one and I am interested in seeing what you guys think or want in romance.

I first want to talk about the evolvement of sex scenes in romance and how it has changed over the years. Now I haven’t been reading romance as some of you have. Only about 12 years, but in that time I have noticed a change in the amount of love scenes and not only the amount but what is also put in these scenes. When I first started reading romance, what I noticed was that the scenes were mild in some ways compared to what they are now. Most of the time it would be one or two or maybe three scenes. There was much more focus on building up the intensity and tension between the pair and molding the relationship emotionally.

But now adays….forget about it. What I see happening more and more is more readers demand more sex, authors deliver it but readers want more intense sex scenes. I am asked so many times do I read romance for sex? HELL NO!! Sex is fabulous and great and I do love seeing the physical attraction build. But I actually love my romance novels for the actual love stories. Its the primary reason I read them. The love scenes when done and written correctly, can be the glue that puts everything together and completes it. But I love scenes a strong relationship form in a romance. Do I complain when there is too much? I will be honest, sometimes. It can be annoying when I have to skip a ton of pages just to get through the sex to get to the actual story. So I do feel like there needs to be a healthy balance between the physical and emotional.

I believe it can be difficult for many authors to try to decide what is right to put in their story, to find what fits for them as well as satisfy their readers. If an author can deliver a satisfying romance 100%, then the amount of sex matters little to me. But is it enough for you guys?

There have been those certain authors that only put in kissing and milt touching in a romance but the writing is so well done….that it turns out to be a great romance. But then you can go to the other spectrum. Where you have a romance that has quite a few highly steam sex scenes and when the writing knows what he or she is doing can create a masterpiece of a romance. So in my mind, a talented author can work any time of heat into a romance and create a winner of a romance.

Questions For My Readers 

So what about you all? How much do you need? 

Are you picky about the sex scenes? Do you prefer them mild, medium and extra spicy? 

  • I like a healthy balance of physical and emotional in books too. I’ll admit to speed reading through some sex scenes if there are way more than necessary in a book 😛

  • I agree mainstream romances have become much more detailed. I am of the opinion as long as there is balance and the scenes makes sense and aren’t thrown in there then bring it. Of course, I read books that are squeaky clean too or have no romance too. If the scenes are good I enjoy them otherwise I skim!

  • I am like you, I get to the point where I start skimming and skipping pages and pages of sex scenes. I like my romance to be about the heat, chemistry and the sparks and not the act. It takes a bit of something away to have all the intimate details to the point of TMI splayed out there, and then to have repeated scenes that overtake the story, it ends up being a big no. I am not the biggest romance reader, and I won’t touch erotica, so I am not the best person to ask. I think, though, that a romance is the best when it is adopts the less is more line rather than going overboard.

  • Since the novella explosion it seems like that is all readers are interested in now, sex. As a reader I want the full story including small simple details but these book are now a dying breed. I read a book the other day and got pissed. They meet had a small engagement and it was all sex after that. Pages of it.. This reader wants story not just sex..

  • This is a GREAT discussion. I don’t really care much about the sex scenes in romances. I’m not saying they bother me, or that I don’t like them when done right. I do enjoy a good sex scene. But that’s not what I’m looking for. I’m wanting to emotional connection first and foremost. I thought Maya Banks Seduction of a Highland Lass to be SOOOO steamy. I mean, that was some intense sex. And if I wasn’t so in love with the characters, I might not have liked it. But I felt like it complimented the story so well, that it worked.

    And then there is Edenbrooke. Have you read that book? There is no sex whatsoever, but holy cow it’s an amazing story. If you haven’t read it, I actually have a second copy I could send to you. Let me know. I think you’d really love that one.

    • Loverofromance

      Thanks!!! In all honesty many times I skip over them or at least skim them. And especially audiobooks…skip right past them hehe. I am looking for the actual romance part. I agree….Banks did some steamy ones but her historical’s I felt were tamer than what is in her contemporaries though. But I agree they really fit the tone of the story and was done with the right level I thought. I haven’t read Edenbrooke, but I want to. The author lives in my area and her books are so popular where I live. She is super nice though. I feel like there are those authors that write no sex in their romances and the books are AMAZING!!! Have you read Lynn Kurland….she is pretty light too. I would love a copy.

  • Carol Cork

    As long as I can feel a deep emotional connection between the hero and heroine, then I’m fine with sex scenes.

  • L.

    I actually do not even need sensual scenes in my romance novels. I was actually writing a review today for a book and stated that I do not think that lust is the same as the actual romance. I like the sensual scenes in a romance novel and yet so long as the attraction has powerful sparks and the inner chemistry among the heroines and heroes than I am fine not having sensual scenes. I think a great example would have to be the inspiring romance collections that Barbour Books has been publishing contains no sensual scenes and yet the romance is probably the best that I have read this year within these collections. All I want is romance whether that comes with or without sex than I’m okay so long as the romance is alive throughout the book.

  • i like the build up and the love story. The sex scenes don’t bother me, but too many get boring, repetitive. I can do with just the tension, i love the emotional tension, the chase.